Giving up

Stand in the fog and let it roll over you

Let it devour you from sight

While the gentle moisture eats away

tiny little pieces of yourself

Don't fight the drowning tides

Let them wash over your head

and be the first among your race

to inhale without shame

Allow the earth to take your body

and turn it back to minerals

So that in a way you can serve a higher purpose

and be more than you were before

Listen to the words they sling at you

and write them forever on your wrist

Let them bleed into a contract

so you can sign away your soul

If you never forgive then you can't forget

and all bad dreams can become real

When morning becomes mourning

Maybe night will finally mean the end

But while past mistakes burn in present minds

The fog will be my place I lay

Beneath the sea my home

I ask the earth to take my bones

My bloody hands are all that remain

Perhaps

Perhaps

It's a question

It's a question of maybe

It's a question of almost

It's a question of what if maybe

It's a question of what if almost

It's a question of I wish that maybe

It's a question of I wish that almost

It's a question that maybe you will have to answer

It's a question that you will almost have to answer

It's a question that is more than just a simple yes or no

It's a question that is more than just a simple black or white

Perhaps

A sly lover in bed

A sly lover laying in your bed

A creature of whimsical joy and bewilderment

A creature of bewilderment and whimsical nature

A person who looks you straight in the eye and asks nothing

A person who looks you straight in the eye and makes you wonder

An idea that just wont leave your head and causes you to cry from morning to night

An idea that just wont leave your head and causes you to dam your emotions in quiet fear

Perhaps

My tomorrow

My tomorrow and today

My tomorrow and today and yesterday

Perhaps

Will you tell me so?

Will you answer me straight?

Will you give me the proper truth?

Will you leave me more lost and hurting?

Will you give me something to believe in after so long?

Will you answer a poor fool who only seeks a reason among the fog?

...

Perhaps.

Let Us All Find Peace.

Let's burn all the flags

and forget every national anthem.

Let's throw away all the clothes

and forget gender distinction.

Let's turn off all the lights

and forget our pre-misconceptions.

Let's merge all the cities

and forget the lie of civil rivalry.

Let's paint all of our faces

and forget the colour of skin.

Let's run into all the dark corridors

and forget what it means to be afraid.

Let's find all the beautiful dreams

and forget the reasons we don't chase them.

Let's turn on all the radios of the world

and forget that socially awkward plague.

Let's dance until all the squares and hipsters join

and forget their separatist ways.

Let's turn all the human race into one

and forget why we ever lived differently.

Let's pour all the wine

and forget what sobriety means.

Let's all just be

and forget the rest.

The Fifth.

I am the fifth

Four knife wounds in pink flesh

and I am the one connecting them all.

This is my title

and it sears the whole of my being.

I earned it through one terrible deed

which is my prize forevermore

To follow me wherever I may run.

It is my shadow

My stalwart and hated companion.

It will hold the knife

that still drips with innocent blood

It will be mine, though I despise it.

I will strive to fight its ugly influence

and I will die before it touches me again.

I am the fifth

The creature that killed her

This is my title, my burden, and my sentence.

May judgement be swift and terrible.

Dreamer's Dawn

The dawning of the stars woke me from my slumber

and morning mist cloaked me as I wandered from my home

Into the resting streets of a thousand sleeping souls

Where dreams flowed like wine into a glass

In this, the swirling harmonic symphony of fantasies

I strode beyond the cafe, where dreams are left to stagnate

I skipped from the hotel, where running away becomes a way of life

I leapt over the bridge of weeping girls and boys, where love seems impossible

And I found myself atop the bell tower

Over looking the sleeping majesty of a hundred different dreams

Pouring into the city streets and causing a flood like no other

A cascade fluorescent fluid mingling into one shining stream

And this glorious river that shone with golden radiance

Lifted from the streets below and shot into the sky

And to my amazement, to my pure and utter joy

The sky began to lighten and the baby blue sky appeared

As all those dreams that every resting person allowed themselves to dream

Collected all together and formed the morning sun.

In the newly found morning light, I crept from the bell tower

The morning mist still wrapped tightly around my waking frame

As men and women took to their daily business

I marvelled at the miracle of another morning.

The Willow Must Weep

Why does the willow weep?

A creature of slender sorrow

who lives designated by design

amid the terrible net of nature

To be the one that must weep

The oak stands tall

the evergreen is unchanging

But by the river banks

the willow must weep

Till fire cleanses

those too old to grow

Or storms and disasters

take away the bearing of the roots

and upheave the sickly trees

These trees that live

must live to see another day

So the oak will stand tall

The evergreen will remain unchanged

and that poor tree the willow

will lay by the river and weep

If only they knew

the lessons that we've learned so well

That our leaves and our bark

cannot define a beating heart

Such a proud thing must stand apart

and become what they are meant to be

In these words

the trees may hear the magic spell

that will give there burden shape

So the oak will fall

The evergreen will die

And by those river banks

the ones that have seen tears uncountable

That is where the willow

will finish weeping.

Walking, Neither Here Nor There.

Is this where I am going?

Because if that dirt stained

winding and foggy road

is the path that I have started on

Then I will make a sharp left turn

and discover what lies in the forests.

Is this where I belong?

Among the shadowy trees

The wild musk of wet grass

Where mongrels rise to mild fame

and die just as anonymous as the were born

living a life of exile shaded by the leaves

Is this the path I am to walk?

Leaving the leaves and trees

To find the grey and fetid swamp

and muck my way through the mire

Till I see the snow white peaks

Stark contrast to muted tones of yesterday

Is the path before me of my own choosing?

Or has every step

From muddy and stained streets

To the frozen steps nearing the top of the world

Been planned for me to walk

So that I may cause another event

already prepared to be set in motion?

Is this my own life?

Has every destination

been a fraudulent distraction

Blinding me from the god awful truth

That where you stand

or where you walk

doesn't mean a thing.

But does it really matter?

Who cares if life has no meaning?

What does it matter if we walk without reason?

How does purpose effect the ebb and flow of time?

Why ask a question if there is no answer?

Where are we?

We are alive

That is the only location

and the destination is another life.

Fugue

There was once a man named Fugue

Who did not know who he was

An empty slot in a bookshelf

A page with a title and nothing more

He saw what everyman saw

and did no more than any man

But when asked about his past

He merely looked at them and laughed

"What is my past?" Fugue would ask

"It is neither hand nor foot"

And so he would leave them wanting

Wondering what a life this man had led

Then, one day upon the surf

Of a gentle well worn beach

Fugue was taken for vagrancy

and brought before a court

When the judge, jury, and executioner

asked where he was from and what he had done

He laughed a gentle well used laugh

and told them what the didn't expect

"I am a man who is alive" Fugue said with a smile

"Not a history book or a record log"

"What is my past?" He repeated earnestly

"Is it neither blood nor bone"

The judge condemned and the jury agreed

The executioner gave his approval

For no man like Fugue should be allowed

To walk the streets again

His question was answered that day

When his cell door closed forever

The past is permanent and rightly so

For even the littlest person should know

The past is all you are

A collection of what has passed

But if you look at an empty glass

Or listen to the sound of silence

You may learn the lesson that Fugue knew well

The ticket to a world without a hell

"What is the past?" That silence will whisper

"It is neither life nor self"

There once was a man named Fugue

Who never wanted to know himself

Connections

Deliberate

Liberation

Another nation

Wars of Attrition

Addition

Addiction

Diction

Dynamics of speech

Teach

Reach

A societal leech

Youth

Uncouth

Cooing of birds

Words

Wars

Walls

Tall

And then they fall

My home and hall

The sisters call

Distance

Nonsense

Past tense

From this moment hence

Promise me this

Premise is flawed

Fraud

Lied

Laid

Paid

and sent away

For another day

In the highway

Low road

Snow toad

Blasphemy

Cacophony

Symphony

Doesn't go

Fiery snow

One and Three

Missing two

Them and you

Missing ewe

Sheep

Asleep

In too deep

Digging graves

To be saved

Shaved

Wool

Fool

Near enough

Too tough

Rough

Ragged

Truer reflections of myself

But in order to be as pure

They must be just as broken

So read if your mind permits

Read with your heart

Rather than your mind

Two Seasons at Once

This is the dawn of day you thought would never come

This is that shade of blue that haunts you still

This is the words that sound so simple, yet cannot make sense

This is the hour where do and die seem natural

This is the moment when all connections fall away

This is the separation that even words of hope cannot breach

This is our yesterday today and tomorrow that never ends

This is the dream that you live in for the rest of time

This can never be forgotten, yet can be ignored.

And all the lines can come together. Share intimate space while still being free. Dawn comes and goes, but life goes on. Pain and death fade into quiet absurdity. Warmth is second nature. The world glows a rustic red. Everyone is one because we all accept. Tomorrow is today awaiting midnights chime. Neverland is in our hearts. Nothing can break the spirit of the hopeful. And even a stranger seems to be your long lost love. Life is not a question of yes or no. It's please. It's maybe. It's thank you.

This can be that.

The Lost Poem

If you feel better

it is better

plain

simple

If you feel happier

it is more joyful

straight

forward

If you feel at all

it is wonderful

honest

truth

If you can hear me

it is a blight

painful

truth

If you can continue

it is all I ask

already

gone

Duality

Let me destroy you utterly

and I'll kiss you sweetly

I want to rip the light from your eyes

and then grant you the brightest of my lamps

Please allow me to rend the heart from my chest

just so I may feel the healing touch of anyone

I wish to charge against the largest army of scoundrels

So that I can find peace within my breast

Let me drink poison

So I may be cured

I will run a mile

So I may sleep

Can I dance until the dead are roused

In the hopes that I may sit with the skeletons?

What is a day

Without a night?

What is your love

without another's hate?

What is hope

without this constant despair?

May my life be called such a thing

if I do not have to fight death at every corner?

I plague my soul with questions of pain

So my mind may fly free with answers of anesthetic bliss.

Weeds

The sweet poison of now

will choke the weeds from my fingers

and let blood the color of luminescence

refill the limbs

that once lay cracked and empty

entangled with gentle plants

who scream everything wrong.

Like a great copper statue

that has plunged into the sea

I will age without the world knowing

while my great copper skin

fades into disappearing rust

and is replaced by weeds

hiding my fragile beams

that could be considered bones

But are far too impersonal

to ever be so human-like.

Upon the shallow sea shore

I will change from then to always

A shell of former glory

A monument to regrowth

But never truly one or the other

Just an old statue

Just a pile of weeds

A home for seagulls and rats

A haven of times gone past

A cistern of fallen things

But the sweet poison of now

will bring life to these weeds

and cause them to whip around

the beams and struts of an old body

causing chaos and emotion

to bleed through rust and inhibition

allowing light and reason

to flood an empty heart

and an empty statue.

From the shallow sea shore

My great weed encrusted body

will walk into the unknowing world

and become a home to those

who don't know why

but now have a place to live

No matter how torn

how weathered

how altered from the shining glory

Just a home

that always existed as it had

and in their beautiful unenlightened minds

will always be as it is.

That place is where my great copper skeleton

lined with weeds and birds and rats

will lay upon the soothing grass

and become one with the landscape.

Sing of Sun and Shine

Turn off the lights

Everyone of them but the sun

Turn off the sky

and every earthly creation

Look to what lies above you

A glowing artifact of forever

Look to what it does

Defies understanding and explanation

Let the world come back on

See it for the first time

Let your eyes be opened

and look forever in the eyes.

Tear This City Down

Paint the narrow streets black

Turn all city lights to red

Run through the avenues yelling murder

Set the running rivers aflame

Watch everything fall apart

Plant dynamite at the base of the skyscrapers

Rip up the asphalt life lines

Chew up all humanity

and throw the wretched mass

into the all consuming ocean

so it will never see the light of day

And let something right grow in its place

Kill what was once the world

So that another may grow

With the knowledge of a thousand broken souls

guiding the construction in a better way

To hope

To the light

To redemption

A Creature I Have Been

I've said it before

and I'll say it again

From the dawn of time

Till the very end

A beast is all I've ever been

Today is now

Yesterday is gone

I need nothing

and act without thought

An animal awaking at dawn

So I will leave

Into the forest green

Because I cannot undo

what has been done

A monster never to be seen

Just

Can you drop a piano from a third story window

Just for me?

Would you consider lighting someone's hair on fire

Just for my amusement?

Wear a disguise and follow me around for a few hours

Just to see if I notice?

Actively mock shakespeare in my presence

Just to piss me off?

Tickle my feet while I violently scream for you to stop

Just for your amusement?

Challenge me to a race and bolt off into the night without waiting

Just to see if I follow?

Make a christmas present using macaroni and glue

Just to see my face?

Play a musical instrument as loud as possible at four in the morning

Just because you can?

Make funny faces at me from across the room

Just because you're bored?

Blow up a balloon

Just for me?

Send a kiss

Just for us?

Write a text

Just for kicks?

Can we always play and party and live and lay and wonder and whine

Just because we can?

A Piece of Myself.

Can I give a bit of myself to you?

You can hold it in your hands

Stow it away in a drawer you hardly ever open

Keep it in your back pocket

Or hang it above your bed.

I just want to know

That when you cross oceans

or fly up and paint the moon

like you've always dreamed about

I'll be with you

by your side

Not interested in the spotlight

But the person inside of it

Who dances in the night

With sweaty hair and yoga pants

makeup half washed off

and stops when she sees me

But grins and keeps dancing anyway

I don't need your stars

I don't want your fame

I just want you to carry a little piece of me

So when you stand on top of mountains

I'll be right beside you

Unable to climb the cliffs with you

But just as happy when you reach the peak.

Nothing But Power

Straining limbs

Ripping muscles

Sweat

Blood

Tears

Force unrelenting

Physical prowess

This

is

Power

Weakness forgotten

Body empowered

Break

Shove

Move

Bodily truth

Morality simplified

Strength

equals

Right

Intentions unneeded

Meaning unheeded

Fight

or

Die

Painfully easy

Painful consequence

This

is

Wrong

Unimportant Amnesia

Chilly December

In leu of November

The snow clouds all sight

So begins the fight

Within a swirling home

of a thousand little flakes

That make unique

obsolete

Is lit a flame

That takes my name

and hisses and sparks

against a barrage

Of unique opposition

Each unique critic

critiquing the exact same

critique

While the fire only grows

Bolder by the fight

Until the fight grows too

And quiet grows the flame

All this growth in aggression

Leads to depression

A puddle of melted anger

Which freezes in the snow

A stain is all the remains

Ice, not free like snow

Ice, not living like flame

Ice, quiet and unimpressive

So the flame that took my name

And the snow that was unique

Did battle in a chilly december

Though no one does remember

Because a conflict like that

Can happen in september

Just as easily as december

And it's not limited to months

A battleground can grow wednesday

and yet another on sunday

Any fight on any day

Is just as forgettable.

A Death I Deny

My heart aches for no reason

My soul lies in nightmares without cause

My suffering is not noble

My death will not be worthy

I am broken

Not because of any reason

Worth knowing

Worth acknowledging

Worth accepting

I choose to deny my end

My demon

My murderer

Because it is not the death that I deserve

So I will not die.

I just hope that I may forget

this rumbling pain

As the being holding the knife

might ever forget stabbing.

Crusader's Choice

Blind me with your evil words

and let me feel the light

The light that burns with frozen flame

And ravages the night

The night that mocks me beautifully

with glowing moon so bright

But that moon is a ghostly skull

with hellish tongue wrapped tight

Around my body, mind, and soul

Which cannot be right

So I long to send that devil's dark

into heaven's judging light

But I will let this evil win

in hopes to prompt fright

I intend to frighten this thing

By fighting on a new hight

I will ask for it to take me whole

and finish me off in one bite

And kill it with my innocent self

robbing it of sight

But in the end I don't long for death

it does not make my soul light

I want to open it's eyes

So that I may live right

Derping

I could write

But it wouldn't mean anything

I could lie

But then it would be a lie

I could pontificate

But who needs more shit?

I could think

But think about what?

I could work

But that's for chumps.

I could try

But that takes effort

I could write

But who actually reads?

She's got to go.

I have two words for a girl like you

Who can't shower for fear of melting

But can't get enough of my tears

For you, my dear, I say

Please go.

I think you've forgotten

what you did to me so long ago

Time has healed my wounds

But my scars have left me wise

So as the leaves die in the street

You can get swept up with them as well

Take your pretty eyes

Your subtle lies

and Please go.

I'll pay for your train fare

I don't harbor any hatred

But baby the pain you caused me

It just can't stick around

So I'll keep our pictures hanging on the walls

To remind me of our better times

But as for you and your charm

Baby, can't you see it causes me harm?

Please go.

The Story of Captain Craig

Captain Craig sailed the seas on his ship with his friends

He was very very brave he did not fear the tidal wave

A captain of the waters deep

He didn't ever need to sleep

Captain Craig stood very still

He was looking for a thrill

So the captain looked below

All the sailors shouted no

Captain Craig smoked crystal meth

He was not afraid of death

He smoked enough to kill a horse

But he withstood its deadly force

Captain Craig saw wonders, blue and green

Things that often go unseen

He saw all there was to see

Captain Craig didn't want to be

So he walked away from the ocean deep

To go and get some sleep

"Captain Craig

Wake up

Wake up

We are headed for a pirate trap"

But Captain Craig was done with seas and ships and friends

"Captain Craig is dead"

A Gentleman I.

A gentleman am I

can I honestly say

and with a gentleman's sigh

I can honestly pray

For the gentle affirmation of those like I

who lose sight of the chivalrous pass

That I would rather that I die

than see injustice done to a lass

And so with gentle armour donned on I

Happily shall I walk into the breach

and take my humble purpose to a new high

as I protect, aid, encourage, and teach

Fear naught, this gentle soul as I

will come down unto his knee

and make a promise to you nigh

that I live for your happiness to be

You and I are One

You are he

that makes me be

You are she

that makes me see

You are they

who make me stay

You are all

who makes me tall

This is it

my angelic spit

This is that

the critics spat

This is earth

and newfound birth

This is you

always something new

I am this

not your highness

I am just

no more then rust

I am why

only this high

I am you

and never untrue

We are not

unless taught

We are might

and occasionally right

We are doom

our self sealing tomb

We are you

so please please renew

They are free

unlike you and me

They are bright

but we are without sight

They are not

what is actually sought

They are we

from the same family tree

Consider the Source

"Consider the Source"

The angel said

to the people down below

as they read the holy words

put down by both beings divine

and creatures of evil intent.

That angel only asked

for a touch of common sense.

"Consider the Source"

The father said

to son with his own heart

held in his hands.

The boy gave a little smile

and learned what it means

to think and to reason.

The father only said

for his son's happiness.

"Consider the Source"

The earthworm said

in the beak of the robin.

The early bird may get the worm,

But this early bird was a worm

and in return for being early

he instead got a bird.

The earthworm only told

for the benefit of others.

Be not blind or unwise

in the face of tragedy or confusion.

Simply look to the facts,

be wise or ask for wisdom,

and Consider the Source.

Desperate Beauty

True beauty is is found in desperation

When it has turned from night to day

And you sit in an empty house

Leaving all the lights off

Pretending no one is alive inside

That is when poets are brought to life

When rain has become your only companion

On a bridge you swear you would leap from

Holding a knife that you whispered a promise to

With the poison thats begging to be kissed

When all that stands between you and the doorway

To the kingdoms of heaven and prisons of hell

Is a few words that can stain

the hearts of those who read them

and make them marked forevermore

This is what poetry really is

A few words that can act as

A sword in the longest war

A light in the darkest day

A lifeline in a drowning sea

Beauty found in Desperation

It's Over

I remember the night my poetry died

It was last night

Last night, someone decided to kick me to the curb

Last night, someone just had to let me know

Last night, I was hated for no known reason

If that doesn't kill your urge to create

You must be a fucking statue

Here I was

A toddler on a trike

Riding to somewhere at a very slow rate

It didn't matter where I was going

It didn't matter how fast

I was moving

Of my own volition

And then someone drops a sack of hammers on me

Someone squishes the life out of my little body

and ruins my little trike

Who knows where that little trike

could have gone

who knows where it would have taken me

Maybe it was just across the street

But maybe, just maybe

That trike was going to take me across the sky

We'll never know now

Cause the trike is mangled

The tot is squished

The sack of hammers has been thrown

and my poetry is dead.